These days we can care for so much around us; our friends, our family, our pets, our partners, the little pot-plant you just put in the bathroom. But why is it that we haven’t really put too much thought into caring about ourselves!?
We start this world with this unconditional, I’d-take-a-bullet-for-you-kinda love from literally everybody around us – whether we’re aware of it or not. We begin to learn about emotions like, compassion, kindness, forgiveness and acceptance, yet we display them towards others, and ever rarely ourselves. We don’t seem to take our time in demonstrating those emotions inwards, we express them so freely and sometimes so strongly that it can almost suck the life out of us. Putting ourselves first in this world is quite difficult. We aren’t encouraged to be ‘selfish’ due to the stigma that’s attached with it, and at any point that you are labelled as ‘selfish’ its not a good thing or a compliment. But this trait can actually be so good for you, as long as your heart remains in the right spot.
I am sure a lot of you may feel like I am wrong in that sense, that us millennial's and Gen Z’ers are just all extremely selfish. But I’m not talking about the physical things, I’m talking about how we see ourselves and our own values. We spend so long looking for the right fit – friends and partners – and we know what we want, somebody who is funny, somebody who is kind, somebody who understands. Yet, we never really look for those within ourselves. When was the last time you really reflected on yourself? Do you take notice of your own amazing qualities, or can you just see the bad? Its said that “if you can’t take care of yourself, then you can’t care for others”, and it’s so incredibly true! However, the key to being healthy with your selfishness is being self-focused instead of self-involved.
Try not think about it about as being selfish though, all you are doing to taking a moment to care for YOU. When you’re able to focus within, you’ll become much more genuine in what you are doing and saying, you’ll become authentic and find happiness a lot easier. This type of positive thinking definitely doesn’t come easy though; trust me, I know! Its hard to switch your brain over to believe that you do know who you are and what you truly want. Especially in this world, on any given day we can look around and view it full of greed, narcissism and self-entitlement. However, looking from a different perspective, you might see that having a healthy relationship with yourself and putting your needs first will form a base with an unshakeable foundation. And with this, you can create a fulfilling life.
Coming from experience, this type of life change is a long, rocky and tearful journey. Some days its so god damn hard that you’re quite happy to stay in bed, watch Netflix and demolish a whole bag of caramel popcorn…. But yet, some days, you find yourself writing that to-do list, finally cleaning out your wardrobe, and slowly, but surely smashing some goals. My life has consisted of exactly the above-mentioned in the past year, so I know exactly what you are feeling, thinking and avoiding. But I’m going to say one thing: hope. Hope that what is in your future is going to damn better than what you have now. Because, it will, but you've just got to do some soul-searching first.
Learning to take care of yourself is important, and if you need help with where to even start, just reach out. There are so many amazing people around you that will help in any way. And don’t be ashamed in finding professional help, they are there for a reason. Once you find that self-love within, you wont ever want anything coming into your life that could harm that or your state of bliss. Remove what doesn’t serve you, walk away from toxic relationships, and instead, welcome the people, places and things that uplift you.
Some of my personal self-care go-to’s are simple. Take a walk, giving myself a manicure, playing a game on my phone, shooting hoops, lighting a candle, listening to music. They don’t need to be costly, or time-consuming, they should just make you feel good. No matter what situation you are in, you always deserve better, so starting that journey to peace of mind, and allowing time to take care of yourself will be beneficial – you’ve just to start!
Below is 30 super easy ways to focus on self-care.
Stand Strong and Shine xx
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